When the Chimney Became Holy: A Satire on Blind Faith

The Chimney Conundrum: A Satirical Look at Religious Blindness

“These Christians will be told by a preacher or the good book, ‘Look into the Chimney and you shall be filled with joy!’” 😂😂😂

Below lies the tragicomedy of religious interpretation—where logic goes up in smoke..

The imaginary dialogue below exposes the dangers of blind faith and how religion can mislead the vast majority. Let’s break it down.

The Ignoramuses and Illiterate

The first group, the Ignoramuses and Illiterate, will gasp, “WOW!” They’ll weave “Chimney” into songs of exaltation and exhortation because, to them, it sounds like the name of a deity, a blessed place, or some heavenly ideal. 🤣🤣🤣

The Educated Faithfools

Next up are the Educated Faithfools, a family of the “Only Believe” Brigades. They’ll sigh and quote scripture to dodge scrutiny: “The secret things belong unto the LORD our God” (Deuteronomy 29:29), or they’ll smugly whisper, “The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit… for they are foolishness unto him” (1 Corinthians 2:14). These are their go-to verses when they can’t explain what they believe—and know deep down it makes zero sense. Hahaha!

The Academic Theologian Faithfools

Then we have the Academic Theologian Faithfools, another branch of the “Only Believe” Brigades. These folks will dissect the etymology of “Chimney” to justify their beliefs. If that fails? They dive straight into the “original languages”! “Aha! In Greek, ‘pýle’ (gate) was mistranslated as ‘Chimney’ in some manuscripts!” or “The Hebrew ‘Ashan’ (smoke) shares root letters with ‘Oshan’ (treasure portal)!” 📚✝️

With these mental gymnastics, they convince—and confuse—themselves, all to keep the wheel of oppression turning. Admitting their error would mean questioning the infallibility of the imaginary author of the “good book.” Rather than face that, they’d prefer to perish and lead others into the same pit, clinging to the notion that they’ve been following divine truth instead of human invention.

The Thinkers

Then come The Thinkers, scratching their heads: “Hold up… Chimney? Like… the soot pipe? How ‘doth’ that bring joy? Nay, this maketh no sense!” ❓🕵️‍♂️

The Chorus of Condemnation

All the other groups—the Ignoramuses, the Educated Faithfools, and the Academic Theologian Faithfools—unite in one voice against the Thinkers: “They don’t have faith!” At the end of the day, these groups represent the majority, at least 75%, and the damage is done. The evidence is plain for the blind to see.

The Final Judgment

And so, all other factions join in a chorus of judgment against the Thinkers and every voice of reason: “They lack FAITH!” Truly, as they love to quote, “The wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19). Verily, these are the majority (75%+!), and thus the damage is done. “The evidence lieth plain before the blind.” ✋😔

~MAZI OGBUEFI ©2025~